Are you a blogger?
Do you have an unaccountable urge to share your badly expressed thoughts with an uncaring web audience? Complete this issue's quiz and find
out ... (more)

The online diary of a deep sea shrimp
Thinknotes, insights, plankton, and anthropological cinematography. You'll find them all at the online diary of a deep sea shrimp, the only blog proud to be associated with The Fig...(more)

Bush admits that relief for stranded bloggers is 'unacceptable'
NEW ORLEANS - Five days after hurricane Katrina devastated much of the Gulf coast, President Bush described the relief effort for the scores of bloggers who find themselves unable to access or update their online journals as 'unacceptable'. Speaking at an emergency press conference, the President said "The Senate has approved a $1 billion blogging aid package. As I speak, US military helicopters are currently dropping wireless routers, modems, laptops and lithium batteries to the good folks in the Biloxi area."

Revealed: the real hidden messages in St Winnifred's School Choir back catalogue
ASTON - Inspired by revelations in last month's Fig that exposed the backward messages in Led Zeppelin's "Stairway To Heaven", sound engineers from the University of Aston have unearthed subliminal vocals in St Winnifred's School Choir's 1980 number one single "There's No One Quite Like Grandma". Working on master tapes from the choir's own musical archive, the University's advanced filtering techniques discovered sinister messages over the seemingly innocuous couplet "There's no one quite like Grandma, She always has a smile, She never hurries us along, Just stays a little while". Andy Turner, Professor of Indo-European Dialects at the University of Aston, explained that "the lyrics are written in a Semigallian, a druidic language that became extinct in the 1700s, so a direct translation into English is problematical. However, the choir to seem to be encouraging us to 'Locate the grave of the most recently buried grandparent and copulate with a wolf within the vicinity.'