Are you at a real ale festival?
An intoxicating cocktail of stale beer, folk music and beards could mean you're at a real ale festival. Take this month's questionnaire and find out...(more)

School fails to mourn loss of exceptionally average pupil
BURNHAM BEACHES - As police investigate a road traffic accident that left a 12 year old boy dead, a local headmaster pays tribute to a pupil of 'limited potential with very few career options'... (more)

Freebasing rock star drives toaster into swimming pool of own vomit
SACRAMENTO - Californian coroner E. Paul Smith recorded a verdict of death by misadventure on Markus Valhalla, a struggling rock musician with a morbid curiosity for the excessive deaths of rock icons from the 1960s and '70s. Valhalla was attempting to smoke crack coacine when he lost control of his customised DeLonghi toaster, driving it into a swimming pool which he'd be using to store 13 years worth of vomit.

Fresher student learns to juggle
LOUGHBOROUGH UNIVERSITY - Lacking sporting ability, good looks and fully developed social skills, English Literature Undergraduate Simon Albrighton has spent most of his fresher week learning to juggle. Albrighton hopes that his new found skill will "impress students in my halls of residence in a non-threatening way, and send out the signal to both men and women that although I'm no party animal, I'm still a fun guy to hang out with." Albrighton, already known throughout the campus as 'the speccy twat with the juggling balls', is considering learning to unicycle later into the term.