Are you a nut?
Wall, brazil, pecan, hazel, and not forgetting King C- . Everyone has their favourite nut. But are you one of them? Complete this issue's quiz and find out ... (more)

Employee's blog reaches all time low
BROMSGROVE - Encouraged to start a blog in order to promote his profile within the company, an employee's online journal plummets new depths of illiteracy and futility (more...)

The Da Vinci Scrote
SCARBOROUGH - Sheet metal worker and part time novelist Tony Herring has unveiled what is possibly the most shameless attempt to cash in on The Da Vinci Code's phenomenal popularity. In Herring's 90 page novella 'The Da Vinci Scrote', a series of murders in his seaside home town of Scarborough are traced to a mysterious cult entrusted with preserving a terrifying secret; that mono-testicled dictator Adolf Hitler is a direct descendant of a scrotally challenged Jesus Christ.

Katie Melua fan relapses following visit from idol
KIDDERMINSTER - The devastated parents of comatose Shelly Amos have revealed exclusively to the fig how their daughter has been reduced to "an almost completely vegetative state" following an impromptu visit from Shelly's favourite pop singer, Katie Melua. Father Brian Amos, who had to be restrained from assaulting Ms Melua as he left the hospital, revealed that "Shelly was never the brightest of girls, which probably explains why she liked Nine Million bleedin' Bicycles." Speaking for the first time since a road traffic accident left Shelly fighting for her life, Amos suggested that her accident "might have knocked some sense into her". However, doctors at the Great Ormand Street Neurology ward suspect that Shelly's already weakened body may have been forced into sacrificing non-critical functions in order to cope with additional trauma.

They're back! New material coming soon from Zoid and Krom, the third best hip hop group in Birmingham. Includes "A brief history of rhyme", the Zoid and Krom story so far.