Are you a serial killer?
Ever wondered if you could cut somebody into pieces, and then put those pieces into an easily transported container - a suitcase for instance? Take this issue's quiz and find out...(more)

David Ginola in surprise pork scratching endorsement
The French heart-throb swaps frogs' legs for pigs' skins as he becomes the new face behind Mr Porky scratchings... (more)

Rapper run over by bus after failing to thank god
Controversial east coast rapper 'Pimp Biggy' was killed instantly when struck by a municipal bus late last night. Friends and witnesses (who claim the bus 'came out of nowhere') suspect divine intervention is to blame following Biggy's failure to acknowledge God's contribution to his Grammy award winning album "Would Anyone Like A Cup Of Tea?"

Hall & Oates revival stalls
Music insiders yesterday confirmed that the nervously anticipated 'Hall & Oates' revival has mercifully failed to materialise. Daryl Hall (lead vocals, of average height) and John Oates (bass, dwarf), released a string of dreary soft-rock/soul singles in the eighties. The duo were presumed dead until the success of a Simply Red single (featuring a sample of "I Can't Go For That") prompted them to shamelessly release a 'The Very Best Of..' compilation. The collection incongruously spans two cds.